Is Chivalry, Courtesy and Consideration Out of Fashion?

So you are a man who wishes to meet up with a woman, whether for romance or friendship. In today’s online world of instant gratification and expectations, it seems that more often than not, a man will assume a woman is as impulsive and spur of the moment as he.

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At the risk of sounding old fashioned or judgmental, please allow me to clarify my feeling on the matter.

Granted, I am not of the twenty/thirtysomething generation. Many young women today seem either ready and willing to jump into an impulsive situation or believe that our society demands guessing what a man wants to do and where he might wish to get together as standard operating procedure. This has placed women in an unenviable position in my opinion. Even if a woman has the free time and resources to make room in her schedule to meet a man she has never met in person or with whom she has not established any sort of ongoing relationship, the first thing that comes to mind is ‘why’? Why the uncertainty? Why the expectation of caution-to-the-wind impulsivity?

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At further risk of sounding ancient–in times past a man would plan a date before asking a woman if he could have the pleasure of her company. Time, place and activity were carefully chosen. Perhaps the man would have some latitude or choices built into his ideal first meeting in case the woman’s schedule could not accommodate that activity at the time planned, but he took the time and showed the respect for her time to arrange an enjoyable meeting. If there was travel involved–he met her close to or at her home. In modern online arranged meetings, it has become necessary to meet in public locations until both parties feel comfortable enough with each other to reveal their personal information. Yes, we live in different times, but aren’t some things timeless?

Men respect women. Even in a friendship situation, a man takes on such things as travel to eliminate possible safety concerns for a woman traveling alone. Concern for her enjoyment and safety have been paramount. It has been considered a privilege— something a man looked forward to- to spend time with and get to know a woman.

Are these notions outmoded today? What do you think, dear readers?

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